Recently, I was on a work trip to Baltimore. It was three long days of non-stop effort; a fruitful trip and an exhausting one.

On day two, I attended a happy hour. Mind you this was the end of two days of heavy work therefore - I indulged. I indulged in tequila.

I love a good cocktail. The kind I can’t make at home without significant research and rehearsal…after all, who regularly zests oranges simply to trace a rim in citrus essence?

The cocktails were superb and the pours were heavy handed. Also… I’m 40. So, I need to cool it and formally join team “one and done”. However, on this particular night I was sporting the jersey for team “three for meeeee”. Surprisingly, I survived the next day and vowed to veto tequila.

In the early morning hours of day four, I boarded a flight home to Houston. I get to my seat around 5:25 am. At 5:27 am, I realize I need to pee.

I race to the back of the plane knowing after the job is done, I’ll be doing the awkward side-shuffle with strangers going against traffic to return to my seat.

Ok, the job is done. I exit the tiny stall to begin assessing my return-to-seat strategy. It’s not looking good, team. I decide on option 2: wait until the plane is fully boarded and the aisle is clear. So I stand there, alongside two flight attendants, people-watching.

Unnecessary sidebar: I could never be a flight attendant. For one, I get motion sickness something horrible so I’d be popping Dramamine like tic tacs on every flight. Secondly, the extremely tight quarters with strangers demanding all the things and most often forgetting to use their manners wouldn’t fly (pun intended). I know myself well enough to know I would ‘accidentally’ spill hot coffee regularly upon laps, expensive bags, anything really and I would unapologetically abuse my power to kick people off a flight. Buuuuut, I think I’d have a lot of fun with the pre-take off announcements so maybe never say never.

The flight is fully booked. We’re talking ‘fully booked’ as in Southwest is trying to bribe travelers to take a later flight.

Folks are heading towards the back with hope-filled eyes looking for anything but a solo middle seat. They make it to the back row (aka - the bathrooms) and the hope rapidly drains as they are forced to settle for not sitting alongside their travel companions.

One group of women traveling together, did not settle immediately. There was an older man sitting on the aisle seat with the middle and window seat open in his row. The aisle seat directly across from him was open too, though a bag occupied it… ya know, from one of thooooose people *eye roll* flying Southwest before seats were pre-assigned.

The leader of the girl group politely asked if the older man would consider moving. He said he needed to be next to the bathroom so he preferred to stay in his seat. She looked back, defeated, towards her friends as they all began scanning the seats around them for an alternative seating plan.

Maybe I should mind my own business more or maybe I shouldn’t but when I see a problem unfolding that I think can be solved, I am compelled to try to solve it.

I asked the owner of the bag sitting in the aisle seat if that seat was in fact open, he confirmed it was available for a butt not just a bag.

I did a 180, squatted to ear level of the ‘need to be near the bathroom’ gent and asked if he wouldn’t mind switching to the opposite aisle seat - also directly next to a bathroom - so the group traveling together could sit together? He said ‘Oh, is that seat open?’

I replied that it was, and he agreed to the switch without hesitation. I thanked him for his kindness and flexibility.

I gestured to the ladies and motioned towards the now open row for them to occupy.

One of the flight attendants next to me was almost shocked. He remarked about the kindness and how that doesn’t happen often, etc. I replied ‘I think if we can help in this world, we should. So it was truly nothing, I’m glad I could!’ He said, “Well, I’m going to take care of you on this flight!” I said something along the lines of it being unnecessary but I appreciate the offer.

The aisle clears. I head back to my seat without having to graze any strangers genitals with my own. A true win all around.

The announcements are given. We take off and settle into the clouds at 10K feet.

A short time later the drink service begins. I order a coffee and a water.

I am drinking said coffee and water for 20 minutes or so. The drink service ends and I’m deep into whatever movie I’m watching.

Suddenly, my flight attendant friend appears with a Deep Eddy Lemonade Vodka AND giant can of Dogfish Head Vodka Lemonade. He says ‘this is my favorite drink, pour the Vodka into the Dogfish. It’s delicious!’

I truly cannot remember my immediate reaction but I’m confident it was one of gratitude and delight despite that not at all being what was happening on my inside.

Outside: Oh wow, thank you! What a surprise treat.

Inside: Ummm….It’s 6:30 am, sir. Not that I expect you to know this but I am still hungover from two days ago and… it’s 6:30 am, sir! A reward for a kind gesture would be an extra snack bag, a drink ticket for my next flight, or the like. Instead, now I will land and be unable to drive my own car home… Neat.

Proof this is a true story:

So kids the lesson here - do something kind and you’ll be rewarded with a DOUBLE vodka before 7 am.

-Aubrey

PS - He was right, the drink was delicious. I’ll try it again another day at 6 PM.

Jan 18 good deeds = double vodka